Weddings in Africa are a big deal. Colorful, beautiful, delicious food filled, lots of drumming and dancing, plus most times extravagant display of wealth are associated with weddings in Africa. Today we are sharing a beautiful Xhosa wedding and the love story of the couple as narrated by the groom.
From the East, west, north, and south regions of Africa, weddings traditions differ in the rituals of marriage and yet are alike in the beauty and joy that comes with it.
How The couple met
We met in varsity UJ 2010 through a mutual friend of ours and we didn’t spark it off at first but we ended up working in the same industry. From there on we started hanging out more often and started taking a liking for each other. We really gelled well as friends. Then finally I took up the courage to ask her out to be my girlfriend. We’ve loved each ever since.
Their Lobola and Proposal
So I proposed two days before her birthday on 03 June 2017. The most nerve wrecking moment of my life was shaking, couldn’t even hear the words come out of my mouth, all I heard was YES. And I put the engagement ring on the wrong hand. Bontle bride: Lolz askies, it happens bruv! Fast track to April 2018 when we had the first lobola negotiations, my family came all the way from Potchefstroom (North West ) to Port Elizabeth Kwa Zakhele. On the day it was suggested we pay half and finish the other half on the eve of our wedding.
The Xhosa Wedding Culture
My culture is Setswana and in Setswana, the women get involved in the lobola negotiations. We initially followed all cultural traditions but there was a language barrier which only my Aunt could assist with. My aunt is fluent in both Setswana and Xhosa. So the Xhosa uncles asked for her to join in the negotiations to translate. Overall the negotiations went smoothly because I have a good relationship with my mother in law.
The Xhosa Community
Yes, they helped with putting up of the tent and the overall assistance of anything that was needed in the household. There was even a boys choir from the community that sang from Friday to Sunday.
We really have no regrets because everything that happened was a blessing and very happy that most the primary things we wanted, we got.
Groom’s best part of the wedding
When Buyekezwa (Wife) made her speech and she cried with joy and I had to wipe away her tears and she took a deep breath and continued with her speech.
Thoughts about a new white wedding after the Xhosa wedding
I feel it is generally a decision the couple should make. We are both really deep-rooted in our traditions, so it was easy for us to make that decision. The type of wedding anyone has should be a personal preference and not a subject of what society deems as okay.
Will they have a white wedding? Yes, we will. It’s necessary because we want a complete fairytale wedding. Our own tradition has been observed and celebrated. Now we just want to put the icing on the cake with a western themed wedding.
Advice for couples planning their wedding:
Stay within your budget and always let your bride have what she wants to have. Our ring was the biggest investment and we saved a lot of money on décor and catering.
What the groom looks forward to:
Having a partner I can enjoy my life with. A friend really and a mother to my kids. Life companions are very hard to find these days. I’m glad I have found mine.
Photographer: Matthew Du Plessis (Instagram: matthew_duplessis)
Venue: Brides House (Kwa Zakhele)
Dress: Matome wa ga Seshoka (Instagram: Antherline Couture)
Make-Up: Loyiso Lihle Mange (Instagram: loyisomange)
Suits: Quiteria & George (Instagram: quiteria_george)